Apr 29, 2014
You know what I feel right now? The most amazing feeling in the world.
I really can’t even begin to describe it. It’s a feeling of hope. It’s a feeling of excitement. It’s a certain type of happiness I have never felt before. Let me try and explain:
I write a lot. I write down everything. I may write too much. From my plans, my dreams, my ideas, my prayers, my notes from preachings, to my feelings. I write it all.
I have this notebook. You can’t really call it a diary because I don’t talk about my day – it’s more focused on my feelings. A mixture of feelings and prayers in a form of letters. Yes. That’s the best way to describe it.
Remember when I said I write too much? I’m not exaggerating. It’s to the point where my arm hurts from writing so much, that sometimes I write the notes on my phone and later transfer it into a notebook. Tonight was a catch up for my notebooks. Yes, notebooks. I have multiple notebooks. I wrote down notes from one preaching from earlier this month, and then I wrote one of my letters from February 26, 2014.
It’s April 29. Almost two months later. You know what’s crazy? That was the longest letter I’ve wrote, and everything – literally everything that I said I knew was happening in my life and what was going to happen in the coming months, happened.
It was scary.
A good scary.
I can’t go into detail about what it was I wrote, but here’s a summary: I said I knew that a lot of things were going to change drastically in my life because I’m learning and growing so much. I figured out the purpose of certain people in my life and vice versa. I wrote about how I knew why “bad” things happened in my life. I wrote that I knew certain things were going to happen even if I had no concrete sign or confirmation from someone that it was going to happen… and it ALL happened. I was so ridiculously detailed, but even so, I promise you, everything I said was right.
Don’t worry, I wasn’t depressed or anything – that actually wasn’t it at all. Life just isn’t always perfect, and I just knew I wasn’t at my best. You know what conclusion I came to? I was so excited about it – I had to tweet it:
“It’s truly amazing how wonderful God is. When you THINK you’re at your lowest, is actually when He’s REALLY blessing your life!”
Looking back at what I was writing 2 months ago, and where I am today is amazing. Absolutely amazing. It validates how much I’ve grown as a person. I knew I was – just didn’t realize it to this extent. That’s what I’ve been focusing on lately. Fulfilling my true purpose in life. Pushing to be the person God wants me to be. Where did that motivation to become the best me come from? The beautiful messages and the book I’ve been reading from Toure Roberts. He’s such an amazing pastor. An amazing mentor. He has no idea how much God has used Him to bless and change my life. I’m getting closer and closer to my full potential. The Best. Version. Of. Me.
Like I said, I can’t really explain this feeling. And you won’t know what I’m talking about until you feel it for yourself. Do you want to feel the most amazing feeling in the world? To know that no matter what, God always has your back? To know that you’re on the right path in your life? Then think and write down all the ways you want to improve yourself. Ask God to guide you to be the person He sees you as, the person He knows you’re REALLY supposed to be. Who you’re meant to be. Break those bad habits you know you need to break. Cut off people and situations in your life that are toxic to you. Whatever and whoever you just thought of when you read that last sentence? Yeah, you should start with eliminating those first.
I know things aren’t always perfect or not what you think they’re supposed to be but just believe every word I said in that tweet! The way God is blessing your life in what you think is your lowest is by trying to make you see things differently because He is setting you up for that next level in your life.
After reading what I just read in my notebook and writing this post that might not even make sense to you because I’m rambling has multiplied – no bajillionified (I know, that’s not a word – let me have my moment) the faith and excitement I have about life. It strengthened my relationship with God, which in fact was one of my prayers last night. To have a relationship with God that is so unbelievably strong, that I never question if He’s trying to tell me something, I’ll just know. I know now.
God is GOOD.
God is AMAZING.