Jan 14, 2011
I used to think I could change people, and there were times where I thought I did. I live by saying “nothing is impossible,” but sometimes the rule does not apply – and in this case it doesn’t. You can’t change a person, change comes from within.
I am the type of person who likes to see the good in people as opposed to the bad, even if they hurt me in anyway. I don’t know if it’s because I do not want to see their flaws, or simply because I can’t accept them. I like to think that everyone is good and innocent, and can do no harm in life – but unfortunately, that’s not how our society works. No one is perfect, and if you think that way – you’re just setting yourself up for pain.
Is there that one person in your life that you think changed for the better because of you? That could be partially true, but only in a certain situation. The person only changed in front of you, not because of you.
This person could be two different people: the person in front of you, and the person in front of their friends and family. The pain that comes from this situation is that you have such high expectations, and you find yourself at the point where you don’t know which one is the real them. Are they putting a front in front of you? Or in front of their family and friends? It’s hard, but you just have to accept that change comes from within.
I understand that when you care about a person so much, you don’t want to see the truth because it hurts you.. but the fact of the matter is, you need to accept that it is physically and mentally impossible to change someone.
I used to say that people can’t change and will always go back to their old ways – but honestly, if a person really wanted to change, you have to let them do it on their own, don’t force them. I did a lot of analyzing on myself, and realized there were a lot of things I wanted to change about myself. Then I felt like I was having deja vu. I was thinking the same thing before, but my heart did not want to commit to these changes, so I didn’t.
It’s true when they say “time changes things” because after a lot of time, realization, and experience, I want to change the things about myself that I already knew I needed to change years ago.
It’s not wrong for people to be the way they are, no one is perfect. You can inspire change, but you can’t make the change for someone. The only solution to it all is to accept it. Accept that you cannot change a person, and don’t allow denial to be an option.
Change comes from within.