I’ve been getting #WomanCrushWednesday (WCW) every week lately, and although it is flattering, and I love you all for that – the most I got was today and it just made me want to tell you a bunch of things that would make you find me unattractive.
First, check out that picture on the left. I really wanted to post the ugliest photo I have and this was the winner – A throwback to 2010, with no make-up. I dare one of you to post that picture for your next WCW! Hahaha, you’ll lose your followers.
Anyway…. here’s my list:
Brace face – People tend to compliment my smile, and every time they do for whatever reason I feel the need to tell them I had braces… for a long time. My teeth were so jacked up that one of my friends told me he used to hate making me laugh because of how bad my teeth were. LOL. What up Zach Adams?! Anyway – I had them for about three years, had four teeth pulled out, and had to get an expander to spread out my mouth? I don’t know but that was PAINFUL – my mom had to use a key every night to turn it, and I now have a permanent bottom retainer.
World’s pickiest eater – I am not open to trying any new foods. I like what I like. McDonald’s. Wendy’s. Burger King. Grease. Unhealthy food. And don’t take me to no fancy restaurant unless you plan to get me some etiquette classes – I will embarrass you.
I can’t cook to save my life – Don’t ever expect me to make you a gourmet meal. I will burn your food, and the kitchen down. The only thing I know how to make is rice and this very unhealthy pasta (thanks to my cousin). Yes, I am aware that all you need to do to make rice is throw it in the rice cooker, add water and press start. Fuck off – that’s still work and the rice isn’t going to cook itself. On a lighter note – I’m sure I could cook if I really tried and wanted to, but I just love fast food and eating out so much that I probably won’t put the effort until 2018.
Indecisive – I change my mind every 10 seconds. I’ll either take an hour to make up my mind, or I’ll have the other person make the decision because I just can’t decide.
Hermit – I literally only like being at home, unless it’s for work. I feel bad anytime people ask me to go out because I probably come off as such a bitch when I say no every time, but I swear it’s just because I really like being home.
I drool in my sleep – I can’t help it, I get way too comfortable and knock out.
Messy – I’ll clean my room one day, and then it’ll look like a tornado ran through it the next because I’m trying to figure out what to wear or because I lost something. Ew, that’s another another thing – I lose EVERYTHING. It’s crazy, I’m the most organized person when it comes to work, goals, my calendar, etc., but I need to get it together with my personal life for real.
I’m cheap as fuck – Ummm don’t ask me to go anywhere if it’s going to cost me stupid amounts of money. Actually, I don’t really like the term “cheap as fuck” so let’s go with “smart spender.” Free, discount, clearance, and sale are my favorite words.
Tomboy at heart – I think I was meant to be born a guy. My family is a majority of guys, in middle school I would play football and basketball at recess with the guys, I like wearing guy sweats because they’re more comfortable (steal a lot of my brothers and cousins pants and hoodies) and I don’t like dressing up unless I have to. Oh and ALL of my friends are guys. I’m definitely not one of those annoying girls that says I don’t have girlfriends because I don’t get along with them – but as I said, I’m a tomboy at heart. My friends treat me like I’m “one of the boys” and I treat them the same way.
I fart and poo – Look, I know a ton of guys out there really do believe that girls do not fart of poo, and I am here to tell you, that you’re entirely wrong.
Well, those are some things that make me unattractive – am I still your WCW?