Lately, relationships and the guy I want to be with in the future has been heavy on my mind for a number of reasons. I could go on and on about this topic, but I want to focus on this list of things that we all create in our mind of who or what the “perfect guy” or “perfect girl” would be to us.
Earlier this year, I wrote that list – it consisted of him having faith and a relationship with God, a family man and how he must get along with everyone in my family, he is goal-oriented and never settles, he hates the club, doesn’t try to impress me, he accepts my flaws and wants to make be better and that he’s my friend first before anything. I wrote that January 2014, and here we are now approaching December and my view on what I want in “my perfect guy” has changed.
That list I wrote earlier just had the basics – but if I went to break down every little detail, I would have added little things such as: he’ll understand my career, isn’t insecure, doesn’t smoke cigarettes, doesn’t already have kids, is older, a homebody like me, doesn’t get starstruck, can make me laugh, is my type, didn’t just get out of a relationship, is affectionate, knows how to cook, we’d have to know each other for awhile, the list goes on – I used to think that is what I wanted in the man I would spend the rest of my life with and would tell myself over and over again that I would not settle unless I met someone who had almost all of that – but realistically, we will never find someone who has everything we want. Now, things have changed and I know exactly what I want, and it’ll be the only thing I look for to determine that that’s the man I’m going to spend the rest of my life with: he is who God has had planned for me from day one.
He may have some of the things that I cannot stand, and he also may not have some of the qualities that I would love for him to have and not have – but at the end of the day, he’s going to be perfect for me regardless of what I like and don’t like about him, or any situation he may be in because he is who God wanted me to be with.
I haven’t had an actual “boyfriend” since 2010. I mean, I’ve dated, but never actually took that next step with anyone and called them “my boyfriend” because either it just didn’t feel right, one of us wasn’t ready and also because relationships just always freaked me out anyway…. but, can I let you in on a secret? I know I’m going to be in a serious relationship soon.
Now, “soon” could still mean a year or two from now, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was before that because I’m at a point in my life where everything is coming together both personally and professionally. I know exactly what I want, and what I need to do that I refuse to put any time or energy into anything or anyone unless it’s something that leads to fulfilling my purpose in life. I feel so aligned with my purpose right now, and because of that I just know God is about to be like, “okay, well, here’s the man who is going to add to your life, and make you even better.” The crazy thing is, it doesn’t even scare me. At all. It’s actually really exciting and I’m just patiently waiting for when that right time comes.
So, tonight, I encourage you to just mentally get rid of that list you have of your “perfect guy” or “perfect girl” and ask God to lead you to the person that He has planned for you – The person He knows is going to help you grow as a person, make you genuinely happy, and where you will also have the same impact on him/her as he/she will on you.