Dont-do-itA couple weeks ago, I told you what I look for in a guy. Today, I want to tell you the ways people have attempted to approach me, and why they failed.

1. Don’t blow up my messages.
This applies to Facebook, Twitter DM’s and Text Messages. If I don’t reply to one of them, I might not have read/seen it yet. If it’s more than 3, you’re pushing it and being annoying as fuck.

If I don’t reply to 35 (sadly, this has really happened), you’re scaring me – and I will block your ass on every social media network, and my phone.

2. Don’t name drop.
Ew. I’ve had so many people try to hit me with the “I know so and so…” or “I work with so and so…” “Do you want to hang out with so and so…” Look. Whoever you know, work or hang out with, I probably already know. And no, I don’t mean that in an cocky ass way – but this industry is so damn small, there’s not that many people to know. Also, if you have to name drop, you probably aren’t as close with them as you’re trying to come off to be.

3. Don’t be flashy.
I promise, I really could give two shits about how much money you have or what car you drive. If you are very flashy about it, I could give three shits.

There was one time a guy actually said, “I really want to take you out to a fancy French restaurant in Beverly Hills” and my response was “I like McDonald’s.” (Yes, I really did say that. No, he did take me to the restaurant, or McDonald’s and definitely didn’t get my number).

4. Don’t pretend like we share the same interests.
I know exactly what I write on my blogs, forums and social media. I can also read people and pay attention to everything. Don’t say we share the same interests if we don’t. One, I don’t like when people try to put a front. Two, that’s just creepy. I had a guy who literally took everything I posted on my forum and said things like:

“I don’t like going out, I just like watching NetFlix.”
“I rarely drink, but when I do I like Barefoot Moscato.”

Apologies if dude was being sincere, but I doubt it. He said he had been following my work for years, those two lines were straight out of one of my responses, and the conversation we were having with the group had nothing to do with Netflix or Moscato.

5. Don’t say you’re going to take care of me.
Ummm… I don’t need anyone to take care of me lol. I mean sure, I’d like to go on dates and get anniversary gifts and shit on special occasions – but as far as saying you could take care of me, buy me a house or car – no. You can’t buy me. I’m going to buy my own shit. In fact, I’d probably buy you a house or car, before you’d buy me one.

Well, I had more – but think 5 will do.

[SEE ALSO: Ask Jen – What do you look for in a guy?]